Latest ‘Scene of Crime’  

Police found a huge haul of toilet paper in the back of a van, pictured, as the Operational Support Group (OSP) exposed the attempted heist on Twitter, with the hashtag #ThatsHowWeRollWho would have thought this van was a crime scene?  But Essex police found an unusual haul when they pulled over a van and arrested the three men inside.

Instead of antiques, silver or whatever, the haul consisted of a stash of stolen handwash and loo rolls. Today’s hot swag.

How criminals (or their swag) has  changed. An indication of the crazy world we live in. today

Planning

During the last war this activity was known as  ‘dealing on the Black Market’. Anyone found touching this type of goods was hauled off to court and imprisoned.

One wonders what COBRA are up to?  And why they haven’t thought to put a stop to today’s Black Market dealing?

I can remember back to days of rationing, and cutting up newspaper to hang in the loo.  Surely the Government can dust down regulations from the 40s and 50s, and make this type of theft prison-worthy?  But what’s the betting these thieves will be let off with a caution?

Supermarkets could help

People’s greed empties shelves, but supermarkets must be rubbing their hands in glee with the extra spend making up for a poor trading winter.  The stores could have put rationing in place when their computers first alerted them there was a run on essentials, but instead they let this run and then wrung their hands complaining about people’s greed.

Frankly, if buying for a family I would be thinking what I could pick up for them, and parcel out the spoils when I got home.  But if rationed to three or less packs, I wouldn’t have been able to stock up and denude the shelves.

And it is no co-incidence that Supermarkets have today announced a 20% increase in turnover this March – higher than Christmas trading.

111 agrees

Undergoing cancer treatment one often gets diarrhea.  Lack of loo rolls is going to get serious for such patients, as if we didn’t have enough to contend with. So I phone 111 to find out

  • Have supermarkets issued a code to help such customers?  No.
  • Has COBRA any plans to help cancer survivors?  No.
  • Is help available for anyone on long-term medication that causes diarrhea?  No.

But the 111 Oprator agreed it was a disgrace that the NHS, charities, COBRA etc. hadn’t thought about this.

Mothering Day presents

My niece came over with a special ‘God-mothering Sunday’ present; a roll of loo paper! What a treat!

And I wonder who will spot the first White Van with the notice “No loo rolls are kept in this van overnight” ?

N.BThames Water say please DON’T use newspaper – apparently it can cause Fatbergs.  So come on, Kimberley Clark, Softply and all the other loo roll manufacturers – do your bit for the country and organise house-to-house supply deliveries to anyone registered as over 70.  Don’t wait for the Headless Chickens in Downing Street,  Ask the Army to organise this.  It will be done efficiently, with humour and the minimum of fuss.

 

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