Fun way to decide what Doctors mean

For those of us who are lucky to be healthy, but twidling our thumbs with boredom, I dug out the following piece sent me by a Yorkshire reader.  It gives one a wry smile to counter the awful news today.

Farmland near Wharfe, Yorkshire Dales National...

Farmland near Wharfe, Yorkshire Dales National Park (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Very much tongue-in-cheek

According to my friend, Yorkshire folk have the lowest stress rate “because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology”.

This, and definitions below, were sent by a fellow cancer patient, who also happens to be a proud Yorkshireman (with a lovely sense of humour!)

Looking at their scenery, it makes sense – gazing at countryside helps put things in perspective.

Humour is the best way to handle problems the NHS throws at us – so enjoy these light-hearted definitions of ‘Medical Terminology’ from ‘God’s own County’.

Warning!  I am not responsible for truth of translations!

Artery  =  The study of paintings
Bacteria  = Back door to cafeteria
Benign = What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section = A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan = Searching for Kitty                                                                                                                                      Cauterize = Made eye contact                                                                                                                                            Dilate = To live long

Fibula = A small lie
Impotent = Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain = Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff = A Doctor’s cane
Morbid = A higher offer

Outpatient = A person who has fainted
Pelvis = Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative = A letter carrier

Recovery Room = Place to do upholstery

Rectum = Nearly killed him

Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport
Tumour  = One plus one more


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