Who could be first to get this?

Have just come off the phone from Dept. Health’s Press Office.  It’s a dinosaur, just like the rest of the outfit.

Thought I had better find out what pearls of wisdom Jeremy Hunt had spouted at the Britain Against Conference last week as, like many, I joined an exodus when he came on to speak.  Apparently he burbled about yet another cancer plan, so what was this all about?  Contact Dept. Health and ask their Press Office for a copy of the Minister’s speech.

Why do I bother?  Get through to nice James – who slaves away in this over-staffed department.  All tripping over each other to ensure the Minister gets his right profile highlighted whenever press are around. James asks me to waste my time, sending him an email request.  Journalists aren’t allowed to send an email without speaking to a ‘Press Officer’ first – so I waste mine and his time and send one off.

The fact that equivalents in France Germany, USA, etc. are happy to do their job and send off copies of Ministers’ speeches to journalists, seems to have escaped this dinosaur press office.  One wonders if they still use quill pens.

Two hours later – NOTHING.  What on earth do they do in Richmond Towers all day?  Because it’s certainly NOT working like an efficient office.

I get naughty idea

In the meantime, a press release zings in to my inbox, sent by Rosie of Agility PR – a fount of good PR.  Apparently

The UK’s first ever competitive AXE THROWING league is set to launch early next year, giving participants the chance to battle it out for a £5,000 prize. 

Now, I can see one ‘flaw’ here: Axe Throwing is Big in North America.  Here, I reckon that people will PAY to throw something at certain politician’s (or their photos – let’s remember Elf ‘n Safety doesn’t like bloodshed).

Can you see Save Our NHS, Doctors for NHS, Save our Hospital and all the other action groups, setting up their stand in hospital receptions, and inviting the public to throw an Axe – or probably a dart (remembering Elf ‘n Safety) at an effigy, or photo – Jeremy Hunt anyone?

The buckets should be ringing with contributions.

Hospitals could even enter the different leagues:  Whistle Punks Urban Axe Throwing is giving steel slingers the chance to become the ultimate axe thrower in their brand new Whistle Punks League, launching for the first time in January 2018. 

The urban axe throwing hotspot is hosting the first ever league of axe throwing, where each week a group of axe throwers will go head to head in the cage throwing axes at targets to win the prestigious title of Urban Axe Throwing Champion.

Axe battlers could be up against some tough competition from celebrity fans of Whistle Punks, Harry Styles and Nick Grimshaw, who visited the axe throwing venue in the recently aired BBC One show ‘Harry Styles at the BBC’, where the One Direction star proved to be a natural at sinking axes into the bullseye. 

I am looking forward to having a chance to throw a dart next time I go in to Outpatients – that’ll make the wait pass quicker!

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