Your GP surgery is changing

Health Minister Matt Hancock has announced funding for 20,000 physios, pharmacists,paramedics and anyone else they can think of, to provide to back-up to GPs.  We are even promised that GPs will provide fun and games with referrals to Zumba and other dancing classes, gardening and ‘social activities’.

Some might remember the days when you sat in a surgery front room, coughing and spluttering, waiting to see the doctor.  You had woken up, found you’d picked up some bug, so it was off to see the Family Doctor.  He might have given you a prescription, or dished out a bottle of tonic,but you came away with an old-fashioned diagnosis –  you had seen him, or her, the day you found out you were sick – and that was that except for several days in bed.

Last time I saw my GP for any sickness, he said I had something with a long name, and would prescribe antiobiotics.  Reluctant to take more, as I had recently had two lots of aniobiotic drips for major problems, and mindful about over-prescribing, I asked how lon would the antibiotics be expected to take before they worked?

About 10 days.

And how long if I just go home and stay in bed?

About a week-and-a-half.

So I went home to bed without the pills.

Let’s have Fun!

Tribal Dancers Clipart #1

A good, old-fashioned Witch Doctor might just be what is wanted to add to this new battery of surgery staff.

Imagine if this person became a familiar figure at your GP’s. No longer do you have 10 rushed minutes to try and remember your symptons,  You would have his undivided attention as he danced  around, adding fun to the visit.

As he consulted his chicken feathers, or whatever used for diagnosis. it would cetainly add some interest to the proceedings, and as they need space for dancing around, patients would move out of a crowded waiting room and into the car park (this would please Receptionists).  Whilst he discussed diagnosis (they usually seem to be male) as he leapt up and down, if you followed this would be good exercise.

So if Hancock wanted to explore this idea, I am sure there are plenty of patients who would go along with this.  And imagine the savings on prescription drugs,

Shamaans

These staff are found everywhere.  Last time I was in Finland, as a guest of the Sami people, I was taken to consult with their top Shamaan.  Now she was female, and apparently much in demand.  I was lucky to get an appointment. She used musical instruments for her diagnosis, and banished the stresses and strains of my modern life.

So Matt, next time you announce another shake-up, these are more options for you. Don’t say Medical Journalists don’t try to help.

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