Our funny old ‘medical’ language

Jargon word cloud hand sphere concept

Next time they’ve run out of old magazines in Outpatients, pick up a newspaper and see how many of today’s medical terms could have another meaning.

For starters …….

 

  • ARTERY – – – – – – – – – The Study of Paintings
  • CEASARIAN SECTION – – – A Neighbourhood in Rome
  • CAT SCAN – – – – – – – – – Searching for Kitty
  • CAUTERISE – – — – – Made Eye-Contact With Her
  • COMA – – – – – – – – – – – – A Punctuation Mark
  • D & C – – – – – – – – – – – Where Washington Is
  • DILATE – – – – – – – – – – – – – To Live Longer
  • ENEMA – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Not A Friend
  • FESTER – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Quicker
  • FIBULA – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A Small Lie
  • HANGNAIL – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Coat Hook
  • LABOUR PAIN – – – – – – – Getting Hurt At Work
  • MEDICAL STAFF – – – – – – – – – – Doctor’s Cane
  • MORBID – – – – – – – – — – – – A Higher Offer
  • NITRATES – – – – – – – – Cheaper Than Day Rates
  • OUTPATIENT – – – – – – A Person Who Has Fainted
  • PELVIS – – – – – – – – – – –  Cousin To Elvis
  • RECOVERY ROOM – – – – – Place To Do Upholstery
  • RECTUM – – – – – – – – – Bloody Near Killed Them
  • SECRETION – – – – – – – – – – Hiding Something
  • SEIZURE – – – – – – – – – – – – – Roman Emperor
  • TABLET – – – – – – – – – – – – – A Small Table
  • URINE – – – – – – – – – Opposite Of Youre Out
  • VARICOSE – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Nearby
  • VEIN – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Conceited

etc. etc.

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